Potlucks: To Host or Not To Host?

We used to do potlucks with my high school friends (and others at times) on a roughly monthly basis back in Boston. Presumably, potlucks are a great way to take pressure off the hostess. However, over time, I came to find potlucks extremely annoying. Organizing everything got stressful and that was SO not the point... and you had to organize for reasons discussed in the next paragraph. However, no matter how much you organized, you could not avoid the oft incongruous dishes. For example, a complex main dish (i.e., Beef Bourguignon) with a salad consisting of iceberg lettuce, velveeta cheese and deli ham strips. Honestly, we had some great meals, but fortunately, with the high school friends at least, we grew into hosting for each other. The consistency across a meal was nice, and you only stressed once every 6 months instead of once every month. I was happy to no longer feel the obligation to be one of the people that contributed a main or side dish.

And that touches upon the other issue with potlucks. EVERYBODY wants to bring appetizers and desserts. It's ridiculous; it's not like the host is stupid. Those options are clearly the easiest things to make and usually the cheapest! What a host/ess (I keep switching, I know) wants is main dishes and side dishes. Unfortunately, when we did our potluck, the same people always wanted to bring dessert (their favorite thing to make!) or appetizers (also fun to make, easy, and cheap!) or salad. But is that fair? NO, not at all.

So... I'm not sure that I'll ever do a potluck again. If I do, I will go back to my strictly organized ways. Then I'd deal with the complaints of people feeling like it lost the spirit of the potluck, but at least that way I could stress only before (and not the evening of the potluck). I'd enjoy the variety of foods and hopefully it would all come together as a somewhat cohesive theme. If I did it often, I'd certainly try to spread the appetizer/dessert/salad making love. Everybody's got to make a main/side dish sometime. If you can't make it, BUY IT.

Perhaps this frustration comes from a bit of guilt... last night, I was at a potluck. I WANTED to make Irish Soda Bread, but realized there just wouldn't be enough time. Dinner started at 6:30, as the hostess wanted to leave time for going out to bars afterwards. To make up for this last minute change in my plans, I offered to buy some, but the hostess told me not to worry. She found one at a good bakery (the bakery by me at work didn't have any, and I wouldn't be able to make it to another). So, instead, I came with some wine. But I felt SO guilty! Of course, she told me not to feel guilty, as I've "hosted dinner so many times," but I still do... I _really_ wanted to make the Irish Soda Bread.

OH! And this touches on another point of annoyance. If I had known that people would be late to a dinner party, I would have had the time to make it at the friend's house... which had been a plan we discussed. I could have made a delicious Irish Soda Bread and not felt any guilt. I could have shared my bread and eaten in pride, instead of asking people sheepishly (at least in my head), if they liked the wine.

And there's my ranting and raving... hmm, I guess this means I really should not host a potluck again. But they can be SO convenient! AH!